Tag archives: aging
Cat calls, whistles, inappropriate under-the-breath
Haven’t we women all felt that sickening
feeling in the pits of our stomachs when we must walk solo passed a group of guys?
We shrink up as small as possible as we slink by, desperately telling
ourselves, “don’t make eye contact, don’t make eye contact” while
simultaneously praying, “please don’t look at me, please don’t look at me.”
These situations drove me crazy in my
20s and early 30s. I’d taken enough women’s lit classes in college to know that
all of these things were degrading ...
Back in college, we used to play a little game
called “I Never.” Perhaps you’ve heard of it? One person says something they’ve
never done and those who have done said thing must drink.
It’s an excellent way to learn people’s deepest
darkest secrets, thereby creating lifelong friendships based on fear that the horrible
things you’ve done could be shared. The game creates way stronger bonds than
As my college years passed, more things were taken
off my “I never” list. Some of these items were originally on the “I would
never” list ...
I’ve been thinking of my grandfather lately, which
is odd because he passed away two decades ago and I haven’t thought much about
him since. The ugly truth is that his death didn’t really affect me, and it
wasn’t all that surprising.
Though my grandfather was only 69 at the time, he
had already suffered one heart attack and had developed emphysema caused by
years of smoking a pipe. A number of his siblings had already died of heart
What I remember most about his funeral was my
dad’s grief and how it baffled ...
As I was reading an article on happiness—much of
the tips I’ve heard before—the final fact caught my eye. It said that people
naturally become happier with age, particularly after hitting middle age.
Being on the cusp of middle age, I was
intrigued. The article mentioned a number of scientific theories: we remember
happy memories more strongly than negative ones, we weed out people and things
that make us unhappy and we focus less on goals and more on well-being.
This last part aligns with a theory I’ve been
developing about capacity. In talking with friends ...
Last week I let a woman who reminded me of my grandmother
get to second base. It was my first time so I was nervous, but she was a pro.
In fact her cheerful manner as she squished my breasts into
the mammogram machine actually may have made the entire experience less awkward
than the first time I was felt up—at age 15.
What made the day even more memorable is that not more than
an hour before my topless experience, I was deep into my first-ever therapy
session. If I had added a colonoscopy to the day, I ...